


Trepidation

by TK_DuVeraun



Series: Power Couple AU [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Idiots in Love, Pining, Pining though, so much UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_DuVeraun/pseuds/TK_DuVeraun
Summary: Prequel toCalculated Distractions.Elashorei Lavallen and Fox Sa'alle are part of the Inquisitor's Inner Circle and the rest of the Inner Circle is sick to death of them. They flirt constantly, with sometimes graphic comments, and everyone wishes they would just kiss already. And why haven't they? Well, that's what Fox wants to know.Ela, on the other hand, is convinced Fox is gay and is desperately trying to respect his preferences despite her own feelings._______Check out everything about the Power Couple AU here.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Elashorei belongs to [@elalavella](https://elalavella.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Check out the entire [Fox Companion AU here](https://tk-duveraun.tumblr.com/tagged/fox-companion-au). And [this is Fox's wiki page](https://tk-duveraun.tumblr.com/FoxWiki). Please hit me up if you would like to transition your Inquisitor into a companion for lolz and AU fun because it's heckin' fun. [Make your own fake wiki sidebar here](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1lNLlRg-iklBjcif9GKPpsTe25d8J_-RFkWgA1fiDfmY/edit?usp=sharing).

Fox was fairly certain he wasn’t imagining the sigh of relief that left the fortress when his and Ela’s harts walked briskly out of the gates. They were both in a sour mood. No amount of persuading or cajoling could wheedle a second tent out of the quartermaster. Even Ivan hadn’t had one to spare, claiming that they were all in use by the forces en route to Adamant Fortress out in the Exalted Plains.

The self-satisfied look on his face convinced Fox that he was lying, but after not-at-all discreetly tearing through Ivan’s supply crates, he still hadn’t found any. Which meant that he and Ela would share the single tent with too-thin canvas all of the way to Denerim and back. And then, supposedly, they’d have to immediately ride to Adamant themselves in the single tent.

Tanithil’s tail lashed, from where it poked out of one of Ela’s saddlebags, so Fox could only assume that the cat agreed with both of them that this trip was going to be an unmitigated disaster. It wasn’t that Fox didn’t like Ela. It was precisely the opposite. There was little he wanted more than to spend the cold Ferelden nights in a tangle of warm limbs and shared breath.

But it was not to be. Ela was as hot and cold as she had been the last few weeks. The ride through the mountains was full of lingering glances and provocative words, but as soon as they pulled the saddles off of their harts and made camp, Ela could barely look at him. She kept her sentences short and there was a hard edge to everything she said. Though Fox kept his expression cheerful and words light, internally he was sighing and exasperatedly rubbing his forehead.

_ Surely she doesn’t think I’d attack her? _ But with her stiff movements and tense muscles, maybe that was exactly what she thought. Fox split his attention between pretending nothing was amiss and seeming as harmless as possible. His staff was propped up against the saddles, the runes glowing softly in the night. He still had his armor on under his heavy cloak and it might have made him look bulkier, but it had to be better than the alternative if she was afraid he’d try something untoward.

At least Tanithil still liked him. The cat hopped into his lap and circled a few times before kneading the edge of Fox’s cloak in a comfortable bed. Fox warmed the metal tips on his gloves with a lick of magical fire and then scritched the underside of the cat’s chin. The loud purring and the crackle and snap from the fire were the only sounds while they ate. Fox spent the entire meal mentally debating whether it was better for him to lay down first and pretend to sleep to set Ela at ease, or for him to let her lay down first and fall asleep before slipping into whatever slim space was left.

By the time he dusted the breadcrumbs off Tanithil and his lap, the cat mrowing in annoyance as he hopped up, Fox had decided Ela would be much more upset by his shadow looming over her as he entered the tent after her because if she really was so worried, undoubtedly, she’d be unable to find sleep easily knowing he was out there.  _ Ugh, what was the Inquisitor thinking? This is a disaster. _

It was all so stupid. So pointless and  _ frustrating _ because there was no right answer.  _ Ela _ usually started the flirtatious exchanges and if he failed to respond, her face would fall and her mood would visibly dip and what was he  _ supposed _ to do? But Fox laid down with his face nearly pressed into the canvas and his back stiff as a board and everything wrapped up under his cloak and blanket. After a few minutes, Tanithil stalked in, all bandy legs and needy grumbles. The cat settled on Fox’s side, which did nothing for his physical discomfort, but it was nice to know  _ something _ trusted him.

\---

Morning dawned with a sharp chill that easily spanned the few centimeters between the canvas and Fox’s exposed nose. He wanted the ground to open up and suck him down into the Void. Not because of his cold nose, that was easily dealt with by a combination of healing and fire magic, no, it was because of  _ Ela’s _ cold nose, which was pressed firmly into the back of his neck. And if that wasn’t enough, the little glass Lightning globe he’d given her as a sign of his interest was hung from one of the tent poles.

It was hopelessly unfair. Ela was pressed tightly against his back, breathing against his neck and making warm, sleepy noises right next to his ear. All he wanted was to roll over, merge their blankets, press his forehead to hers and fall back asleep with their hands held between them. His chest  _ ached _ with wanting it, but he shoved that away and gently shifted Tanithil over so he could get up and stretch out his cold, aching muscles. More healing and fire magic put him to rights, but he frowned down at the tent. 

Without intervention, Ela would have trouble getting on her hart, let alone staying mounted all day, but would she even accept his help? He sighed and rubbed his temples and set himself to warming up the harts. They whickered quietly and nuzzled him in quiet affection as they warmed up. When he lifted up the saddles, they stood obligingly still and let him strap them on. At some point, Tanithil left the tent with a loud meow before prancing off into the trees, probably to relieve himself.

“It’s too fucking cold!” Ela shouted from the tent. 

Fox couldn’t help but laugh. Even with the stress and tension, there was something horribly endearing about it. “Yes, well, I offered to help you with that.”

He turned back to the tent and watch Ela hop to him as if her feet were on fire.

She kicked one leg up to waist height with her sole brushing the front of his cloak. “Warm up my footsies. I saw Dorian do it the other day.”

Fox grinned at her and held her ankle while giving her an intricate bow. “As you order, my lady.” He waved his left hand around in silly flourishes that didn’t do anything, but always looked impressive when fire was dancing along his hand. He finished the motion with a loud snap of his fingers and both of Ela’s boots glowed for a moment as the magic sank into the dark leather.

Ela returned both feet to the frozen ground and took a few experimental steps before laughing in delight and tackling Fox in a hug. She released him as abruptly as she’d touched him and then immediately turned her back on him to tear down the tent so they could continue on their journey.

Fox sighed and exchanged an exasperated look with Tanithil, though the cat probably just wanted his breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

 

The mere sight of Denerim’s gaudy, post-Blight walls was enough to make Fox slump against his hart’s neck in relief. The entire journey had been a hellish nightmare spiced with just enough meaningful glances and lingering touches to keep him from being able to give it up as a loss.

And as much as his heart ached in his chest, he hadn’t been so sexually frustrated in years. That strapping young templar seemed so horribly long ago and the last time he’d been with a woman was months before that. He grumbled wordlessly and his hart made what sounded like a comforting whinny, but Fox didn’t understand herbivores as well as he did tiny carnivores and dogs. Okay, he’d only ever bothered learning enough animal magic to charm house cats and any dog stupider than a mabari, but that was all he ever needed it for in Minrathous.

Animal empathy aside, Fox was sorely tempted to find some bored, attractive noble to vent his frustrations with. He turned his head to glance at Ela and nearly growled. There she was again, with the halla eyes, staring like she was trying to drown from the sight of him. He was _more_ than half-tempted to pluck her off her hart and sit her in front of him on the saddle and kiss and suck on her neck until she begged him to do all of the things he offered in their flirtations on the way out of the mountains.

Tanithil meowed, but the sound was muted from inside of Ela’s saddlebags. “Me too, Tani. A real bed tonight. Finally.”

“Tell him not to wander. There are a lot of mabari in Denerim,” Fox said. Most of his annoyance melted away when he heard her relating his instructions to her cat, as if Tanithil could understand.

Not that it helped his _frustration_ any, but it at least cheered him up enough that he was polite to the gate guard and get them into the city without incident. Fox even had enough left of his senses to pay a page to send word to the Arl of Redcliffe that they would be ready to meet to discuss Inquisition business the next day. The sun was only just setting, but that didn’t leave nearly enough time to get through even the most basic of formalities.

As they approached the Gnawed Noble tavern, one of the beggars miraculously regained use of his legs. He rose to his feet and pulled off his ratty cloak, revealing his dirty Inquisition armor. He gave Fox and Ela a quick salute. “Welcome to Denerim, Serah. No updates from Sister Nightingale as of yet. I’ll check in with you in the morning.”

The scout passed Fox a brass key and straightened the rags of his cloak around his shoulders. “The door with three mabari and a moon.”

“Door, singular?” Fox pocketed the key and then lifted his eyebrows before pointedly glancing at Ela.

The scout shrugged helplessly. “I’m just following orders.”

“Of course.” Fox hopped off of his hart and quickly stripped off his saddlebags before shoving the reins in the scout’s hands. “You deal with this, then. I’m about done.”

The scout just stood there blinking owlishly as Ela did the same, only she threw the reins in his face and made a disgusted noise worthy of Cassandra before following Fox inside. Wordlessly, they walked up to the room, which of course only had one bed, and dropped their bags. They eyed each other for a moment, then Ela said, “If I get my hair washed, can you do the…” Ela made a circular motion with her hand.

“The what?”

“The spell that dries it without it getting all awful.”

The ache pulsed in Fox’s chest. He smiled at her, but could feel the sad wrinkle between his eyebrows. “Of course. I’ll do the same.”

They were silent after that. The tavern catered to more than its share of illicit liaisons, so it had separate baths. Fox wasted some of his sister’s money to have some of the tavern’s servants wash out his hair properly before going across to the other bath and seeing to Ela’s. It didn’t matter that she was the _source_ of his frustration, and her own, if she had any, he still wanted… the best. With a grumble Fox rubbed his temples and tried not to disturb the people working on his hair. The Inquisitor was going to pay for this mess. And Leliana for the nonsense with only a single room with a single bed.

Fox grabbed two bowls of stew on the way back to their room, throwing a few extra annoyed coins on the bar to make up for his sour attitude. Fox set the bowls down on the floor, heedless of how the bread soaked up the broth and turned mushy and useless. Then he sat on the edge of the _one_ bed and started brushing his hair out. It wasn’t a necessary part of magically drying it, but he found it made his hair more manageable afterward.

When Ela made it back to their room, Fox motioned for her to sit on his rolled up cloak on the floor in front of him. Without prompting, she picked up her bowl of stew and used the last stiff piece of bread crust to shovel it into her mouth. Fox gently worked his brush through her long, white-blonde hair. Fox focused on his magic to tune out the pleased notices Ela made as he carefully dried her hair.

Fox didn’t release Ela’s hair once it was dry. Instead, his hands acted of their own accord and took advantage of the opportunity to twist and pull on the long strands. He was already damned. May as well make the most of it. With deliberate motions, Fox tied Ela’s long hair into a delicate, loose plait. He ignored the twinge in his chest as he tied it off with a bit of green ribbon. “There. I’ll fix it up into something proper for combat before we leave the city.”

Ela reached back to feel the plait and froze when their hands touched. Their fingers curled together for a split second before Ela was up on her feet and pushing Fox down into her seat. With his insides twisting up like angry snakes, Fox sat on his cloak and pulled the remaining bowl of stew towards himself with force magic. He heated it up with a second flicker of magic. Luckily, his serving had the bread’s heel, which was still stiff enough to use as a shovel, not that he could taste anything.

As she tugged his hair this way and that, Ela hummed quietly and sweetly.

Fox wanted to drown himself in his stew. Not really. It was too lovely, too sweet, too perfect to have her just humming some Dalish tune to herself while braiding his hair. He looked over at Tanithil, but his one ally in this was already dozing, not a single tail flick to show for Fox’s internal struggle.

When Ela finished plaiting his hair, Fox spent all of his willpower not turning to face her. He knew that if he did, that if he looked at her and she was giving him that _look,_ the one with wistful longing he was all too ready to fulfill, he knew he would press her into the thin mattress and make good on all of his half-teased promises over their weeks of knowing each other, the meeting with the Arl be damned.

With breaths as measured as he would keep them in combat, Fox carefully spread out first his cloak, then Ela’s on the floor. Still without looking at the bed, Fox settled the squishiest part of his pack into something like a pillow and laid down. Neither of them said anything as Ela settled into the bed. She tapped him on the shoulder once, a silent request for her blanket out of her pack, which Fox handed her without looking. The fire slowly burned down in the hearth, but neither was cold enough to shatter the… the truce? Fox didn’t know anymore. He didn’t understand why they weren’t wrapped up in a tangle of warm limbs and hotter mouths.

He didn’t know what was wrong. All Fox knew for certain was that if Ela ran from him that night, after the whole ritual with the hair, after days on the road, waking up pressed tightly together, if she ran then, he wouldn’t be able to reach for her again. And more than anything, he didn’t want to end it like that, sleeping cold and rejected on the floor of a Ferelden inn.

It was dark in the room, but still lighter than their camps had been the last few days. Even still, Ela asked into the darkness, “Fox?”

Fox laid frozen, muscles so tense they hurt, for a moment before responding, “Yes?”

“...Could you get out my lamp?”

His hand didn’t shake when he blindly held it out behind and above so she could take his Lightning in a jar. Fox didn’t imagine the way Ela held his hand holding the glass for far, _far_ longer than she needed to and he wanted to shout his frustration loud enough that the windows shattered from his uncontained magic. The Lightning wisp in the glass globe flared brightly green, but it wasn't the color of the Breach, it was the color of Ela’s eyes and she gasped to see it.

Fox pulled his hand away and twisted it in the blanket before dimming the Lightning wisp and closing his ears to any other sounds for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST FUCK ALREADY.
> 
> Sorry, I'm having a bad day, so I didn't edit this as much as I otherwise would have and I don't have any clever comments.


	3. Chapter 3

When Fox first woke, he thought it was just another of the Desire demon’s tricks because he felt Ela’s hand on his arm. Just a light, careless caress, as if they were lovers like the demon kept offering. But no, it wasn’t the Fade. Ela was still asleep and had no idea what she was doing. With an internal sigh, Fox slipped out of her reach and stood, stretching the kinks out of his back. After a moment of hesitation, he gently tucked Ela’s hand again Tanithil’s side. The cat’s ear twitched, but he otherwise didn’t react. Fox took that as approval.

Fox pulled on his boots and quietly snuck out of the room to meet with Leliana’s scout. There was still nothing to report, so Fox picked up some hot savory pies for them to eat as breakfast and returned to the shared room. He knocked twice and waited for Ela’s answer before he stepped back inside. His comrade-in-arms was already back in her armor and their saddlebags were mostly packed.

“Food,” Fox said, holding out the pie.

Ela bit into it as if she hadn’t eaten in days. She spoke around the food in her mouth. “You’re a prince.”

Fox laughed at her and rolled his eyes. “You’re welcome.” He had to snap his jaw shut to keep from adding an endearment on the end. Something had shifted between them. It was _more_ now. Too much. They’d been precariously balanced before, a delicate mix of physical distance and crudely intimate words that meant nothing and everything at once. Oh, if given the chance, Fox would follow through on every offer he’d made, but it wouldn’t start that way. It would start as something soft, like how they’d braided each others’ hair the night before and he could still feel phantoms of her hands brushing the back of his neck.

The savory pies disappeared in record time, what with how both of them couldn’t bear to speak to each other. Fox was letting Tanithil lick the last traces of gravy from his hands when Ela approached him with the dark blue sash with the symbol of the Inquisition stitched on with white, silk thread. She lowered it over his head and fussed over the exact positioning, as if she was the one with experience at court. Eventually, Fox gently pushed her hands away, and positioned it himself. Then he reached over and adjusted hers until it was right.

“Well then, ready?”

“It can’t be too bad. We did get him his castle back,” Ela said.

Fox nodded, but said nothing as they left their room and stepped through the tavern and out to where the Arl’s carriage was supposed to pick them up. The carriage was there, but they hadn’t gone one step from the tavern’s threshold when Fox and Ela were accosted on either side by people chattering about how the Inquisition had saved their farm or the village’s mill or any number of things.

Fox tried to politely decline all of the thanks, but there was no avoiding the flowers pressed into his hands, so he simply held on to them as he finally was able to pull himself into the carriage and pull Ela in after him. Through the window he could see Leliana’s scout laughing himself sick. Fox snapped his fingers and the man’s hair caught fire. He shared a blank look with Ela before laughing. Without further delay, the carriage started off for the Arl’s town house.

Fox dropped all of the flowers into his lap and carefully peeled away the leaves and trimmed the stems with his pocket knife. He did the same to the flowers Ela handed to him and once they were all pruned to his satisfaction, he brushed the detritus onto the floor of the carriage and silently gestured for Ela to turn her head.

Though she gave him a puzzled look with narrowed eyebrows before complying, there was a quiet “Oh!” when she felt him carefully slip the flowers into her plait. It made her look more beautiful yes, but only because it made Ela look more… Authentic. More truly herself. More like the eldest daughter of her clan’s Keeper who spent her days outside in the sun hunting and teaching history to the children.

Fox didn’t let his hands linger and took care not to stare once they left the carriage. They were warriors: equals and representatives of the Inquisitor. Trusted members of his inner circle. Yes, sending a Dalish and a Tevinter was an intentional slight, but Ferelden’s monarch had been quite rude, so it was only to be expected. The meeting had just as much empty posturing as both Leliana and Josephine had predicted and it seemed like such a _waste,_ but the Inquisitor hadn’t wanted to risk them getting injured before the assault on Adamant Fortress.

They slipped out the servant’s entrance when the meeting was over, carefully balling up and hiding their Inquisition sashes before trekking back through the city to the Gnawed Noble.

“I don’t really want to stay another night at the inn. I’d rather be back on the road,” Ela said.

Fox couldn’t agree more. He hadn’t slept any better in the inn, what with the fist around his heart the entire time. The rejection was so much worse without the considerations of camping in the wild. Maybe he would just avoid Ela once they got back to Skyhold. Make a new lamp and find something casual to take the edge off. He sent Ela back to the inn alone. With the brightly-colored flowers in her white, white hair Fox could barely resist touching her in public. Alone, with no one stare at her…

So he sent her in alone while he purchased supplies for the long trip back to Skyhold. For the most part, he didn’t purchase anything unnecessary. For the most part. He couldn’t stop himself buying the little fruit pies that would keep for several days as long as he didn’t break the crust. He was damned to the Void and back already, may as well make her as happy as he could.

The sun was just starting to set when they left Denerim, Tanithil having meowed and whined until he’d been allowed to ride in Fox’s saddlebags. Unlike on the trip to the city, they rode silently. The tension between them as taut as a bowstring, but as fragile as the flowers Fox had put in Ela’s hair. They had been gone by the time he finished his shopping, undoubtedly Ela had been eager to rid herself of them. He’d swiftly pulled out the loose plait and replaced it with two tight, functional braids that wouldn’t impede her fighting.

Their harts walked briskly in cool evening air, unbothered as it shifted from cool to _cold_ and with no worse footing for having only the light the moon. An hour after moonrise, Fox and Ela pulled off the road and set up their single tent in a copse of trees.

Their fire was warm, but not very bright. The silence between them was deafening. Tanithil tried to help by meowing loudly and stalking back and forth between them, as if it could make them sit closer so he could be pet by both at once, but Fox and Ela were too busy avoiding eye contact and sighing quietly. Fox was so engrossed with feeling sorry for himself that he didn’t notice the danger until arrow pierced through his cloak and grazed his arm.

He felt the magebane immediately, clenching his jaw and grabbing his staff.

Ela was already on her feet, greatsword in both hands. She said, “A little light would be nice.”

Fox broke off the arrow’s shaft and threw it to the ground, not wasting the time trying to work the head out of his armor. He twirled his staff in both hands, planting the sharp point in the frozen dirt. “It would, if that arrow hadn’t be doused in magebane.”

As if his words were a signal, the bandits burst into their clearing all at once. Fox swung his staff around, aiming the crescent blade at the nearest one’s throat, but before he could make contact, Ela had jumped in front of him and cut the man down.

“Ela! Are you out of your mind?” Fox shouted, even as he swung his staff at the next attacker.

“Are you?” She returned, bashing a brigand in the face with the heavy pommel of her sword. “You’re drugged; stay back!”

“I am a perfectly capable fighter,” Fox said. His words were punctuated by heavy thwacks from his staff. He stabbed his opponent through the chest with the butt of his staff once he was on the ground before spinning to fight the next one.

“You’re a mage without magic. You’re useless and you’re going to get yourself killed if you don’t just stand down and let me protect you,” Ela argued. Even though their weapons and movements were fully engaged in combat, the two of them were _far_ more concerned with their verbal exchanges.

“I grew up in the heart of the Tevinter Imperium! Enemies around every corner and no guarantee their magic wouldn’t counter mine.” Fox slit the throat of a bandit attempting to strike at Ela’s back. “I don’t need your protection; you’re leaving yourself open!”

“Too _fucking_ bad!” Ela’s sword crashed into a bandit’s chest, knocking him down and stunning him. “You’re getting it anyway!”

Fox cut down the last bandit and turned to Ela. “You’re being ridiculous, there’s no need-”

Ela wrenched her sword out of the bandit’s chest and spun around to face Fox and interrupt him. “There is a _fucking_ need because I love you!”

Fox’s mouth worked before his brain did, resulting in him shouting, “Then why do you keep running away?”

They stood still, then, staring at each other and panting. Most of their would-be attackers were dead. Behind Fox, one of them lifted a dagger to throw at his unprotected back, but Fox felled him with a blast of Lightning magic, the magebane having finally worn off.

After a long moment, Ela dropped her sword and stalked across the camp to Fox. She grabbed him by roughly by the collar. “Why do _I_ run away? Me? Because you’re gay and I’m not about-”

“No I’m not! Where could you _possibly_ have gotten that idea? Were my overtures not explicit enough for you? Was the lamp not a clear enough sign of my favor?” Fox asked, voice still raised.

“Obviously not!” Ela returned, still holding him tightly.

“Well?”

“Well yourself!”

Fox dropped his staff with a clatter and grabbed Ela’s face in both hands, roughly pulling her in for a hard kiss. Weeks of frustration and desire clawed its way out of his chest, leaving Fox with no choice but to open his mouth against Ela’s and drink her in. He grabbed the braids _he’d_ put in her hair and held her tight against him.

For her part, Ela wrapped his braid around _her_ hand, clearly equally unwilling to let him get away or change his mind. They stood there kissing, their free hands trying to get contact with something that _wasn’t_ armor, but not in any kind of purposeful effort because they couldn’t think of anything past the taste and feel of each other’s mouths.

Fox turned his face to the side, unable to pull away with Ela’s grip on his hair, but he wasn’t trying to. Instead he pressed his mouth to the underside of her jaw and up to the spot under her ear that made her gasp. “How could you _possibly_ think I was gay? Have you _seen_ women?”

Ela jerked his mouth back to hers. “I’m more concerned with a man right now.”

“I’m taking you to bed now.”

“Fucking, _please._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Varg commissioned a smutty follow up to this that will be posted Soon (tm). I have started a fic for what comes after this night, so I'll link to the smut in that fic so that it's easy to find from my works.


End file.
